The Wayward Scholar

I don’t remain fixed that well.
A well devised set of illusions
thread rising from limb to ceiling
and pinned taut. strangling the
feckless chasing after every thought

I don’t remain fixed that well!
a tumbleweed! A tumble dryer
a secret like a whisper blowing
a drifting Black snowflake
in the wind rolling over
high seas. a wandering eye! and amphibious
with razor sharp amnesia and wit
tossing and turning tearing for an exit

I don’t sit still that well.
I vibrate at high frequencies
thrashing into the deepest troughs
fidgeting into an existence of circles
curious being,
simply funneling down the drain
caught at the focal point of a river with no true destination,
yet constant

I write this piece in a freestyle form based on a shorter piece that I had written previously in the year. The piece originally was entitled “the Other Side of the Mountain” with more mountain and land imagery and a haiku formatting. After a few developments it was abandoned and I returned to it only recently. In the end I don’t think it follows those rules of a haiku and focused on writing more authentically and instinctively.

What is the piece about? I have been having visions and dreams in the past couple of months of soft waves, beaches, mountains and the stern of a boat gently coming to dock at an unknown port. I believed this to be my subconscious and semi-conscious becoming more anxious to tap further into my potential as a writer and scholar. I wanted to write something that expressed this emotional journey that it has been in having many ambitions yet to actualize despite time and work into each of them.

“Land Ho! Landslide!” gives me hope that although I am often anxious about what the future holds – it is rare that I live a life without meaning. It is rare that all that I am worried about doesn’t come to pass or a better, more thoughtful opportunity comes instead. There are no mistakes or accidents, just gorgeous chaos. I can relate to this brand of madness, and I have genuine respect for chaos even though it is not my most desired preference. I am not free from any chaos internally or externally and so I should enjoy the slide and seek a gentle (?) landing.

This piece is also one of the first that I’ve shared publicly that my shows my slowly changing style. I’ve been experimenting with some new writing styles as I’ve begun to take an interest in my personal studies again. Some of my poetry is often styled and inspired after Gary Fisher and some of my favorite works by him.

https://www.dukeupress.edu/gary-in-your-pocket